Fuck Marry Kill
by mrsstark83
Summary: This is a ine shot about what happens when Tony begins a game of Fuck Marry Kill and he is unaware Pepper is listening from the next room.


Rhodey and Happy joined Tony in the living room while he was busy pouring himself drinks. Tony was gearing up for his guys night at Pepper's suggestion. What he didn't realize was that Pepper hadn't left yet. She was in the next room finishing up some work on her laptop.

"Here you go" Tony said handing drinks to his friends.

"Thanks" Rhodey said and Happy nodded.

"Happy Fuck,Marry, Kill , Agent Romanoff, your ER nurse, or Jessica from accounting" Tony asked and Pepper's ears perked up.

"Oh man that's a tough one. I think Fuck Agent Romanoff because I know I can't kill her, marry my ER nurse and as painful as it is because her tits are so perfect I'd kill Jessica from accounting"

"They're real too" Tony said about Jessica from accounting.

"You slept with her too?" Rhodey spat out.

Tony just smiled. Pepper felt a wave of jealousy wash over her. She couldn't wait for it to be Tony's turn.

"Unbelievable" Rhodey said shaking his head.

"Rhodey fuck, marry, kill, Gal Gadot, Kerry Washington or Khaleesi" Happy asked him.

"That's a good one for sure. I gotta marry my girl Kerry. Fuck Gal Gadot and kill Khaleesi" Rhodey said.

"Tony's turn" Rhodey said. Pepper's ears perked up.

"Fuck, marry, kill Agent Hill, Gamora and drum roll please" Rhodey said as Happy made a drum roll beat.

"Don't you say it. You leave her out of this"Tony said.

"And Pepper?" Rhodes said.

Tony felt himself squirming inside. He couldn't say out loud what he harbored deep inside. Rhodey would never let him live it down.

"Kill Agent Hill" Tony said.

"Come on Tony you only get one choice for Pepper"

"I mean I have to take what Pepper thinks into consideration. Because I don't know what she would think of either scenario and I'm her boss and-

"Answer the question Tony. Stop stalling" Rhodey said. Pepper was smiling ear to ear. This was just too good.

"Well I hate Peter Quill with a passion so I guess I would fuck Gamora and marry Pepper. I mean we're basically married now. I see her everyday anyway. It's like she lives here and we don't have sex so it's similar to marriage" Tony said avoiding his friends eyes. Because he knew how they'd be looking at him.

Pepper was relieved that Tony had answered correctly.

"Do I get a turn?"Pepper asked as she entered the living room. Tony wanted to die when he saw Pepper.

"Pep what are you still doing here? How long have you been in the other room?" Tony asked nervously.

"I'm serious guys. I want a turn. Give me some names" Pepper said.

"Ok Pepper Fuck, marry, kill. Me, Happy or Rhodey?" Tony asked.

"That's too easy Tony. I would marry Happy for sure" she said. Happy smiled from ear to ear.

"And that leaves you two idiots. One of you I think about smothering in your sleep at least once a day and the other one of you well you know what they say happens once you go black so that should sum it up for you" Pepper said as she gathered her computer and packed it into her purse.

Rhodey and Happy erupted in laughter.

"Wait so I'm dead. Why is he fuck? And I'm kill" Tony said as he followed her.

"Will that be all Mr. Stark?" Pepper asked.

"I don't expect you to marry me but I said I'd marry you and you'd kill me?"Tony continued.

"I'll see you tomorrow" she said as she opened the door and let him continue his rant. Tony went back into the kitchen and they were still laughing.

"Don't get mad at me because your girl chose me for her fuck" Rhodey said.

"I know you're black but I'm not that much smaller than you. I'm like seven inches. I've never had complaints. And Pepper has never seen me at full attention. She's only scene it like a handful of times when I woke up from a bender in strange places"Tony said.

"Tony your face when she walked into the room was priceless" Rhodey said as he poured himself another drink.

"Pepper chose to kill me over marrying me or fucking me" Tony said again.

"It's ok boss. It's just a game. You know she likes to joke around with you" Happy said trying to make him feel better.

"Come on let's watch the fight" Rhodey said heading into the living room.

Tony vowed to convince Pepper to move him to marry or fuck if it was the last thing he did.


End file.
